Soek jy man? Hier’s jou kans!

Die volgende is veronderstel om uit ‘n koerant êrens in die Ooste te kom op antwoord van ‘n advertensie. Ek neem geen verantwoordelikheid vir die egtheid hiervan nie – ook nie vir die inhoud nie! Lees op eie risiko!

RESPONSE TO A ‘MARRIAGE PROPOSALS’ ADVERTISEMENT! Madam : I am an olden young uncle living only with myself in L. Having seen your advertisement for marriage purposes, I decided to press myself on you and hope you will take me nicely. I am a soiled son from inside P.  I am nice and big, six foot tall, and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness, as because I am working hardly. I am playing hardly also. Especially I like cricket, and I am a good batter and I am a fast baller. Whenever I come running in for balling, other batters start running. Everybody is scared of my rapid balls that bounce a lot. I am very nice man. I am always laughing loudly at everyone. I am jolly. I am gay. Ladies, they are saying I am nice and soft. Am always giving respect to the ladies. I am always allowing ladies to get on top. That is how nice I am.   I am not having any bad habits.   I am not drinking and I am not sucking tobacco or anything else. Every morning I am going to the Jim and I am pumping like anything. Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want you can come and see how much I am pumping the dumb belles in the Jim. I am having a lot of money in my pants and my pants is always open for you.   I am such a nice man, but still I am living with myself only. What to do? So I am taking things into my own hands everyday  …   That is why I am pressing myself on you, so that you will come in my house and my things into your hand. If you are marrying me madam, I am telling you, I will be loving you very hard every day … fact, I will stop pumping dumb belles in the Jim. If you are not marrying me madam and not coming to me, I will press you and press you until you come.  So I am placing my head between your nicely smelling feet looking up with lots of hope. I am waiting very badly for your reply and I am stiff with anticipation. Expecting soon Yours and only yours