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Kyk net hoe kap hul mekaar!

WHEN INSULTS HAD CLASS
These insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”
– Winston  Churchill

“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.”
– Clarence  Darrow

“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.”
– William  Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

“Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?”
– Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.”
– Moses Hadas

“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
– Mark  Twain

“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.”
– Oscar  Wilde

“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a  friend … if you have one.”
– George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

“Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second … if  there is one.”
– Winston Churchill, in response.

“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.”
– Stephen Bishop

“He  is a self-made man and worships his creator.”
– John  Bright

“I’ve  just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.”
– Irvin S. Cobb

“He’s not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.”
– Samuel Johnson

“He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.”
– Paul  Keating

“In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.”
– Charles, Count Talleyrand

“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.”
– Forrest  Tucker

“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?”
– Mark Twain

“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.”
– Mae  West

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.”
– Oscar Wilde

“He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts … For support rather than  illumination.”
– Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.”
– Groucho  Marx

‘There’s nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won’t cure.’
– Jack E. Leonard

“He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.”
– Robert Redford

“They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human  knowledge.”
– Thomas Brackett Reed

“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.”
– Billy  Wilder

“He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.”
– Abraham Lincoln

“A modest little person, with much to be modest about.”
– Winston  Churchill

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:
She said, “If you were my husband, I’d give you poison.”
He said, “If you were my wife, I’d drink  it.”

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: “Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.”
“That depends, Sir,” said Disraeli, “whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.”

 

4 responses to “Kyk net hoe kap hul mekaar!

  1. Xena Phoenix

    06/07/2010 at 07:07

    Churchill: “Having a woman in Parliament was like having one intrude on me in the bathroom”
    Lady Astor: “You’re not handsome enough to have such fears.”

    Churchill: “What disguise should I wear to a masquerade ball?”
    Lady Astor: “Why don’t you come sober, Prime Minister?”

     
  2. Xena Phoenix

    06/07/2010 at 07:10

    En my persoonlike gunsteling:

    Dalene Matthee – Fiela se kind

    Fiela: “Nou vang Baas vis in ‘n pispot.”

     
  3. Marile Cloete

    06/07/2010 at 20:19

    Dankie vir hierdie juwele, Xena!

     
  4. Chanette Paul

    27/09/2010 at 04:49

    Dankie, Marile!
    Ai, om te dink f-woorde het sulke juwele vervang!
    My gunsteling een om in die geselskap van macho-manne aan te haal:
    A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle (Gloria Steinhem)

     

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